The short version: Stay. The Gran Meliá Palacio de Isora is a properly luxurious five-star resort on the west coast of Tenerife with Europe’s longest infinity pool (400 metres of saltwater along the cliff edge), nine restaurants, a Red Level concept that quietly upgrades your stay, and food that ranges from genuinely excellent to (in the case of one pizza) genuinely awful. The detractors are small and fixable; the experience as a whole is one of the best on the island. Visited 31 July to 4 August 2025 with the family.
Quick facts
| Location | Avenida de los Océanos, 38686 Alcalá, Guía de Isora, Tenerife, Spain |
| Resort tier | Five-star luxury resort |
| Best for | Families and couples wanting a true five-star on Tenerife, with the option to go up a level via Red Level |
| Pools | Multiple, including Europe’s longest infinity pool (400m saltwater), a family pool, the Pirate kids’ pool with slides, an adult-only pool, a tranquillity area for 16+, and a Red Level adults-only pool with hot tubs overlooking the ocean |
| Restaurants | Nine including Pangaea (main buffet, breakfast and dinner), Oasis (Red Level breakfast, lunch for all), Agave (Mexican poolside, lunch), the Italian (lunch and dinner), Nami (Pan-Asian, dinner), Duo (steakhouse, dinner), plus Latas (seafood) and a French restaurant, both adults-only |
| Board basis options | Bed and breakfast, half board, full board, or all-inclusive — each can be combined with Red Level for upgraded room category, lounge access and extras |
| Spa | Full spa with hydrotherapy and floating treatment cabins. Not included on shorter stays: roughly €40 per adult and €20 per child below five nights; included on stays of five nights or more |
| Parking | €10 to €15 per day depending on rewards membership status; included for Red Level |
| Other features | Promenade access via key-card gate to natural ocean rock pools, fully equipped Technogym, on-site retail (jewellery, clothing, gifts), kids’ disco room and kids’ club |
| Visit dates | 31 July to 4 August 2025 (four nights) |
First impressions
You pull up on the front of the property, you’re greeted by the team, and the first thing that hits you isn’t the decor: it’s the signature scent. The resort has its own scent that’s piped through the public spaces, and it’s a really nice touch on the nose. The lobby itself is done out in white marble (very much the look of the late 2000s, but it still works), with ornamental ponds full of floating leaves either side of the entrance. It feels like a proper five-star arrival, not a buffet-hotel arrival.
There are two reception desks. The standard one is where most guests check in. Through a separate doorway, Red Level members get their own check-in experience with seating and an upgraded welcome drink. Everyone gets a welcome drink, but the Red Level option is a notch up. More on what Red Level actually is in a moment.
The pools (and yes, Europe’s longest)
The headline pool is the 400-metre saltwater infinity pool that runs along the cliff edge above the ocean. It’s reportedly Europe’s longest, and you can genuinely see guests swimming proper lengths up and down it. There’s hydrotherapy in part of the pool with timed jets that switch on for periods, and a section of bubbles that I suspect was once intended to run the full length and has since been scaled back. Plenty of seating along the entire edge.
The pool is segmented into zones. The southern end has a private area for Club Meliá members. Just beyond that is a Red Level family section. At the far end there’s an adults-only Red Level zone. So even on the headline pool, the resort is quietly catering to different segments of the market without putting fences up everywhere.
The family pool is a separate, more contained pool. Mixed depth, seating both on the edge and in the middle, with the Candy Bar serving drinks alongside (it’s called the Candy Bar because there are two jars of sweets at it, which is generous). The waiter-call posts dotted around the pool are a nice touch: press the button and someone will take your drinks order. We used the family pool most because our room backed onto it, and because the kids weren’t going to be swimming 400 metres off into the distance.
The kids’ pool is called the Pirate Pool. Open roughly 9:30 to 6:30, split into two sections: the front section has a pirate ship feature and a small tiki-hut slide; the back section has a much bigger slide that the kids absolutely fly off. There’s a toilet block in the middle, although on my visit the men’s toilet didn’t lock, which is the sort of small thing a luxury resort really shouldn’t be getting wrong.
The adult pool sits at the other end of the resort and looks much like the family pool, just raised slightly higher for a better view and far quieter. Past it, at the very north end, there’s a tranquillity area for over-16s only, and then another Red Level adults-only zone with two hot tubs looking out over the bay and the sunsets. Plus a small pool I never saw anyone use, and an upper-level Red Level adults pool with bar service and views.
What is Red Level, and is it worth it?
This deserves its own section because Meliá makes it deliberately complicated, and it’s the single decision that most shapes your stay here.
First, the board basis options: bed and breakfast, half board (one extra meal), full board (lunch and dinner included), or all-inclusive (three meals plus snacks and drinks). Layered on top of that is Red Level, which is essentially an upgrade tier rather than a board basis. Red Level gets you a different room category, a separate check-in, the Red Level Lounge with a daily happy hour (5pm to 6pm, with cakes, savouries, top-shelf spirits and an ice cream machine), private pool sections, included parking, and access to certain dining areas.
You can mix and match: you can be all-inclusive without Red Level, or Red Level without all-inclusive. Some people will tell you Red Level isn’t worth the extra. I have some sympathy for that view. But when I’m paying for a resort like this, I don’t want to be the family that finds out the ice cream they want is in the bit they can’t get into. For us, with kids in the party, the peace of mind was worth it.
I’d also note: it’s a slightly strange decision to offer bed and breakfast at a five-star resort like this. It probably lowers the entry price and brings in guests who might not otherwise come, but it does mean you’ve got people inside the resort on quite different experiences depending on what they booked. If you’re booking, my honest view is to either go in at Red Level all-inclusive, or accept that you’re going to be wandering past a lot of doors you can’t open.
The rooms
We had a Red Level Resort Suite with inland view, party of four (two adults, two kids). The suite layout is split: a master bedroom, a separate lounge with two additional beds for the kids, and a small kitchenette area between them.
The kitchenette has a mini-bar. The Coca-Cola and water are complimentary and restocked. The mini liquors, wine and beer are complimentary on first use, then chargeable on restock. The premium spirits (we had a moët) are chargeable from the off, fair enough. Tea and coffee facilities include an espresso machine. There’s a coffee table with chairs around it for the kids, both of whom had been left a colouring-in bag (the bag itself was colourable, which I’d never seen before) and a board game in their welcome amenities.
The master bedroom has a large bed, beautifully made up with great pillows, plus a sizeable seating chair, lots of storage, a safe, two waffle robes, two sets of slippers, a small repair kit and shoe polish. The room comes with two pieces of complimentary daily ironing on the rate I booked. Air-conditioning controls are at the bedside, which is a small thing but a thoughtful one.
The TVs in both rooms are enormous. Bigger than most people have at home (mine excepted). The bathroom has a jacuzzi tub, which the kids loved, plus child-sized toiletries, a bidet, dual sinks, a big lit mirror with a magnifying section, and a little makeup stool. Towels are lovely quality. The toiletry selection is genuinely premium, with dental kits, lotions, ear plugs and face wipes alongside the usual. Two rainfall showers with handheld attachments on each side: if there are two of you, you can have water fights, which I’m told is one of the marketing benefits.
The single biggest benefit of this room type isn’t the lounge or the second TV. It’s the outdoor access. You get a private seating area with a proper outdoor day-bed, plus standard sun loungers, and the suite backs directly onto the pool area. The kids could throw their goggles on and walk straight into the water. That was the daily routine for four days.
The food: nine restaurants, one bad pizza, lots of highlights
This resort takes food seriously. Nine restaurants is genuinely a lot of options, and the overall quality is high. There’s variance and there’s repetition, but compared to a lot of all-inclusives where you eat the same buffet four nights running, this is a different category.
Pangaea is the main buffet, open for breakfast and dinner. It’s a two-route layout: you walk in, get seated, and can head left or right. Both sides have stations covering cold meats, cheeses, salads, hot mains, sushi, noodles cooked to order, fresh seafood (prawns, hake, swordfish, sea bream, mackerel, mussels), a curry station, pastas, paellas, breads, an ice cream rotator, and a desserts area that genuinely doesn’t stop. Levels of desserts. Macaroons on top, cakes on the way down. The display work on the food is excellent: they don’t just lay things out, they dress the stations to make them look good. Oscar, one of the staff, is a particular highlight.
The buffet rotates the menu meaningfully between nights. One night it’s seafood-heavy with serious crab. Another night it’s an Indian theme with naan breads and a row of hummus options. They promised variation in the marketing and they delivered it.
Breakfast at Pangaea is a similar spread. Fruit (good to see plums alongside papaya, melon and pear), three smoothies, the typical hot breakfast items (bacon, beans, English sausages, dates wrapped in bacon, a tuna pie), an omelette station, a separate waffle and pancake station with chocolate pancakes and churros, cheese and meats, yogurts, juices including pineapple, pastries packed and unpacked, donuts, a toast station with four bread types, three different butters and plenty of jams. Cereals including (importantly, I think) Sugar Puffs. The North-American-friendly milks (soy and oat) are out. The fried squid is presented in such a way that I twice mistook it for onion rings, which I’m going to flag as a serving suggestion the resort could improve.
Oasis is the second breakfast option, à la carte / semi-à la carte for Red Level guests only, opening for lunch to everyone else. They bring juice carafes round to the table, and the buffet itself is smaller but well-curated. Strawberries, more bread, cheese and meats, cereals (Sugar Puffs again, well done), donuts, sweeties for the kids, gluten-free options that the main buffet doesn’t always make obvious. Made-to-order items including waffles, omelettes and pancakes, all plated up beautifully. The Oasis ice cream bar adjacent to it, by the way, is one of three ice cream locations on site: there’s also ice cream at Pangaea after 6:30pm and proper Italian gelato at Nami in the morning.
Nami is the Pan-Asian restaurant and it’s outstanding. You walk in past terracotta soldiers either side of the entrance. There are teppanyaki tables further in that we weren’t booked on, but they look fantastic from the outside. We had vegetarian gyoza and spring rolls as starters, then mains including a banana tempura dish presented with real flair. Highly recommended. Booking is essential and books up fast: we nearly didn’t get in.
Duo is the steakhouse next door to Nami, sharing the same kitchen. We didn’t dine there, can’t comment. There’s also a private dining area linking the two.
Agave is the Mexican restaurant, lunch only, with a stunning poolside setting. Not included in every package, but plenty of guests on lower packages still come for the experience. The traditional guacamole is excellent. Standard kid options (chicken nuggets), veggie burritos for the adults if you want, plus salads.
The Italian sits in a glass box adjacent to the Sunset Balcony and the Plaza Atlántico. It’s where the food honesty comes in. The bruschetta we had for lunch was one of the best bruschettas I’ve ever had in my life. The pizza was one of the worst pizzas I’ve ever had in my life. I can actually remember the last time I had a pizza that bad. So: order the bruschetta, the pasta, the meats, anything, but skip the pizza. The Italian is open lunch and dinner.
Latas (seafood) and the French restaurant are both in the Red Level adults-only zone. We didn’t visit (kids in party, and I’m not a seafood person), but the views from Latas alone are reason enough for couples to factor it in.
The bars and snacks
Nemo’s Lounge is the standout for me: a small bar just off the Plaza Atlántico, beautiful fish tank, quiet, and the source of drinks for anyone sat in the Plaza in the evening. The staff there are excellent.
The Red Level Lounge is open through the day, with the happy hour from 5pm to 6pm being the moment to walk in. Cakes, savouries, full bar including some top-shelf spirits (Dylan was the bartender we kept seeing — properly good at his job), two TVs back-to-back where the kids can put on a movie (Harry Potter was the rotation on our visit), sandwiches and crisps in the corner, an ice cream machine, and a concierge desk for anything you need. There’s also a separate kids’ play area off the lounge.
Entertainment, sunset sessions, and the dinosaurs
The Plaza Atlántico is the central courtyard, with a stage where the daytime activities and nightly shows happen. The standout entertainment moment for us was the twilight sessions: DJs and acoustic guitarists during sunset, on the balcony overlooking the ocean. They make really good use of that golden-hour window, and it’s one of the more genuinely atmospheric things I’ve seen any resort do.
The nightly shows themselves are mixed. Some are great. Some are just okay. If we’d only been staying for a couple of nights, on the wrong nights, we’d have been disappointed in the evening entertainment. There’s also a structural problem here: the stage is small (which limits the kind of productions they can put on) and the seating within roughly 30 metres of the stage is incredibly limited — I’d estimate around 40 seats. So a lot of guests end up standing or effectively sitting on the floor. For a property at this price point, the entertainment seating layout is a genuine miss.
One thing I have to mention because it was a genuine surprise: the dinosaurs. There’s a feature on the resort that I won’t spoil completely, but if you’ve got kids (or, frankly, if you’re me), it’s brilliant. You just don’t see this kind of touch at most luxury resorts, and it lifted the experience.
Spa, gym, and the natural rock pools
The spa is full-service, with hydrotherapy, a main pool, and unusual floating treatment cabins out over the water. I couldn’t film inside the main spa unfortunately. Important pricing note: it’s not free with every package on shorter stays. If you’re booked in for fewer than five nights, expect to pay around €40 per adult and €20 per child for spa access. Stay five or more nights and you get a family inclusive slot included. So if the spa is a priority and you’re flexible on dates, the maths of a five-night stay versus a four-night stay changes meaningfully.
The gym is full-service: Technogym kit (which is genuinely top-tier), free weights, a Smith press machine. One observation that I’ll flag because it was odd: the signature scent is dialled up to 11 in the gym, presumably to mask the working-out smell, but it’s noticeable enough that I’d struggle to do a session in there.
One of my favourite quiet features of the resort: there’s a key-card gate at the back of the property (and a beautiful spiral helix walkway at the front) that takes you down to the promenade and the natural ocean rock pools. Florence (my daughter) snorkelled in them and saw crabs, fish and some great shells. Shallow, safe for kids, and effectively a free additional activity. There’s also a small public playground along the promenade.
The small things that drag the score
I want to be a fair critic, so here are the genuine detractors.
Paper overload at check-in. We received four or five pieces of paper at check-in, then a letter in an envelope in the room that evening, then another envelope with two pieces of paper the next day. Seven or eight pieces of paper in total. It was all useful information (a lot of it was timeshare sales info), but the resort already has an app, and the volume of print felt at odds with the otherwise modern feel of the property.
The print quality of the menus. The physical menus across the resort were scratchy. Almost without exception. For a five-star, that’s a really easy fix and a really obvious miss.
The kids’ club room itself. The kids loved the activities — that’s not the issue. The room they actually run the activities in is windowless with very little on the walls, and it didn’t feel great to leave the children in. The kids didn’t notice; I did. A bit of investment in the physical space would lift this from “fun activities” to “a properly good kids’ club”.
The entertainment seating. Covered above. Limited capacity close to the stage means standing or floor-sitting for plenty of guests, which is wrong for the price point.
The pizza. Already covered. One of the worst pizzas I’ve ever had. Skip it.
Who is the Gran Meliá Palacio de Isora for?
Families and couples who want a real five-star on Tenerife. If you’re choosing between this and Bahía del Duque or the Ritz-Carlton Abama, this is the comparison set — not the Riu, not the Iberostar buffet hotels. The food is a clear step up, the rooms are properly luxurious, the Red Level concept gives you somewhere to go up another notch, and the resort genuinely uses its setting (the cliff-edge infinity pool, the sunset sessions, the rock pools on the promenade).
It’s also genuinely workable for couples — the adults-only zones (Red Level adults pool, the tranquillity area, Latas and the French restaurant) mean you can have a luxurious adults trip here even with families staying down the corridor. Whether to add Red Level depends mostly on whether you want the peace of mind of access to everything; if you do, factor it in from booking.
If you’re chasing pure value all-inclusive, this isn’t that resort, and that’s by design. If you’re chasing the best four-night family-and-couples five-star you can get on the island, this is at or near the top of the list.
Frequently asked questions
The verdict: stay or stay away?
Before the final call, the honest detractors. The check-in paper overload feels at odds with how modern the rest of the resort is. The physical menus across the property are scratchy and an easy fix. The kids’ club room itself is poor (the activities are great, the space isn’t). The entertainment seating close to the stage is genuinely limited and some nights’ shows are forgettable. And there’s that one extraordinary pizza in the Italian that I’m not going to let go of in a hurry.
On the other side: the food across the resort is excellent and the variety across nine restaurants is real. Nami in particular is outstanding. Pangaea changes the buffet up meaningfully between nights. The sunset sessions on the balcony are one of the most atmospheric things any resort I’ve reviewed has done. The cliff-edge infinity pool earns its reputation. The Red Level concept, if you opt in, quietly upgrades the experience in a way that adds up. The natural rock pools just off the property are a lovely bonus. Standouts like Dylan in the Red Level bar, Oscar at the buffet, and the entire Nami team mean the service runs warm where it could easily be cold.
The Gran Meliá Palacio de Isora is a confident, clear stay. A five-star resort that earns the rating in the things that matter (the rooms, the food, the setting, the service), with a handful of small fixable misses that hold it back from being a perfect score. Highly recommended for families and couples wanting one of the best resorts on Tenerife. Stay.
Full video transcript
Auto-generated from the YouTube video and lightly cleaned. Timestamps preserved.
00:00 Welcome to the Gran Meliá Palacio de Isora. As well as being a mouthful of a name to say, this fantastic resort sits on the shores of Tenerife overlooking one of the sister islands behind me. A huge resort by European standards, and I’m going to take you through it right now.
00:33 When you first arrive, you pull up out front and are welcomed by one of these fine gentlemen. If you’re a Red Level member, parking downstairs is included; if not, it’s €10 to €15 per day depending on rewards programme. Entering the property: the first thing that hits you isn’t the decor; it’s the signature scent, notable throughout the resort. A really nice touch on the nose. The ponds with the leaves in are a nice touch. It’s done out in this wonderful marble that was very big at the end of the 2000s and still looks good now.
01:30 Two reception desks. The standard one where most guests check in. Through those doorways is where Red Level members and upgraded room classifications check in, with a more uprated experience: seats, additional drinks if you want them. Everyone can have a welcome drink, but here you can get something a bit more exciting.
02:08 Welcome to the 400-metre-long infinity pool. Saltwater pool with various hydrotherapy. Those jets just came on; some really powerful, on a timer. Over here some bubbles. Originally intended for everywhere along the front. All of the edge has seating. They must have switched off some and decided to deliver them only to part.
03:30 At the very southern edge, a private area for Club Meliá members. Just behind me, the private area for Red Level members including kids. At the far end, a Red Level adults-only area. Catering to those different levels, those different markets. Plenty of seating, deck chairs around. The Mexican restaurant is just there. This pool is huge — you see people swimming lengths. As I say, salt water, less than ideal in your eyes or mouth. Europe’s longest pool.
04:57 The family pool. Decent size, mixed depth, seating both on the edge and in the middle. Just on the other side, the Candy Bar — two jars of sweets, but at least you can get drinks. Plenty of seating later in the day. Behind me, Red Level only seating all around this edge; the rest is free for all. Around a lot of these pools are poles with a button: press it, someone takes a drinks order. The family pool is the one we use most.
06:22 The Pirate Pool. Open 9:30 until 6:30. Split into two sections. First, the pirate ship and tiki-hut slide area. Bar service via the poles. Toilet block in the middle, although the men’s didn’t lock, which was less than ideal. The second section: a much bigger slide and fun waterfall bits. A serious slide; the kids go flying off.
07:41 The adults’ pool, with a sign that says “honramos el silencio”. Very similar design to the family pool, raised slightly for a better view. Lots of seating later in the day. Good to see an adults-only pool here.
08:12 The north end of the property: a tranquillity area over-16s only, then a Red Level zone, adults only, with two hot tubs overlooking the bay and the sunsets. Plenty of seating including corner couches. An area where they put on food and drink. A small pool I never saw anyone use. At the top, a whole other level of pools.
09:43 Red Level only and adults only. Lots of seating, beautiful views. A bar over there. Some water movement with jets. Then into the Red Level Lounge. Adults on Red Level would check in here. You park here. Separate concierge desk. Downstairs is parking. Through here is Latas restaurant — seafood-focused. Beautiful view. I’m not a fan of seafood and have the kids with me, so I won’t be eating here.
10:51 Red Level briefly. Three board types: bed and breakfast; half board with lunch or dinner; full board (lunch, dinner, breakfast, not drinks); all-inclusive (snacks, drinks, three meals). Then Red Level on top. You can be all-inclusive without Red Level. Some say Red Level isn’t worth the access to other areas. I have some sympathy, but I don’t want to miss out, especially with the kids. For me: top level, Red Level all-inclusive.
12:36 Red Level Resort Suite with inland view. Two additional beds for the kids. Left: small kitchenette. Mini-bar — complimentary restocked Coca-Cola and water. Mini liquors, wine and beer once-and-then-chargeable. Moët chargeable immediately. I’m eating that Mars bar. Tea and coffee facilities. Espresso machine. Lots of space around the table. Both kids received slippers. A colouring-in bag (the bag itself was colourable). A board game inside. Master bedroom: a lovely large bed. Interesting chair design. Lots of storage. Safe. Two waffle robes, two slippers. Shoe polish, repair kit. Two pieces of ironing daily. Air-con controls at the bedside, a nice touch. Great pillows, great bed.
14:50 Significant TVs in both rooms. Bigger than most people’s at home. Bathroom: jacuzzi tub, kid-appropriate toiletries, bidet, dual sinks, big lit mirror with magnifying section, lovely towels, small stool for makeup, hair dryer below. Fantastic toiletries: dental kits, lotions, hand wash, face wipes, ear plugs. Showers with rainfall heads, handheld on each side — water fights possible. Great toiletries here too.
16:38 The biggest benefit of this room type: outside access. Private seating, a proper outdoor day-bed, plus standard beds. Bertie’s getting ready for his swim. Then off into the pool.
17:28 Plaza Atlántico, central feature among many. Off the side: conference rooms, kids’ disco room, the main Pangaea buffet up. Below me: the stage for daytime activities and nighttime entertainment.
24:21 One thing the resort does especially well is making use of those twilight hours: sunset sessions with DJs and acoustic guitarists. Really cool.
25:18 Hope you enjoyed. Before daytime entertainment: a quick highlight of the retail — jewellery shop, clothing shop with swimmers (forget yours, pick them up here), a more general gift shop elsewhere. Just off Plaza Atlántico. Not open during the day, open in the evenings.
29:40 Unfortunately I can’t take you in the spa. Through the reflection you can get the gist: water jets, hydrotherapy pool, main pool, seating. Probably a sauna and steam room hidden in there. Spa access is extra. With my booking, four nights, it costs extra. Five nights: family inclusive slot. Fewer than five nights: roughly €40 per adult and €20 per child. On top of the indoor area, floating cabins for treatments out over the water.
30:58 Full service gym. Free weights, a Smith press, all Technogym equipment — one of the best in the world. The signature scent is turned up to 11 in there. Really strong. Off-putting if you were working out.
31:50 The plethora of food options. Pangaea (main buffet, breakfast and dinner only). A Mexican (lunch only). Oasis Bar and Grill (breakfast and lunch). An Italian (lunch and dinner). Pan-Asian (dinner only, fantastic, highly recommend). Steakhouse next door. Two adults-only options: seafood and French. We’ll dive into Pangaea with dinner, then breakfast.
32:44 Pangaea buffet. Greeted at the door, seated by the team. Indoor and outdoor seating. Large bottles flanking you. Two routes, left and right. Heading left: candy. Lots of options. An ice-cream rotator. A nice fish tank with big fish. Cheese and bread. Kids were most interested in the grapes. Fantastic cheeses.
33:58 Cannelloni and lasagnas. A meat station. Spaghetti or pasta cooked by this wonderful gentleman. Cold meats, fantastic selection. More pasta-based dishes. Veg stew just out. Beef and bean strips. Oscar showing us these dishes.
35:18 Chutney and nuts. Mediterranean vegetables. Display work is really good — they dress the stations up, not just lay things out.
35:52 Salad bar, great selection with salsas. Waffle station with sauces. Desserts: verging on too many. Level after level. Macaroons on top, cakes coming down. Just never stops.
37:00 Noodle station — freshly prepared. Lots and lots of fresh seafood (prawns, hake, swordfish, sea bream, mackerel, mussels), cooked to order. Roasted tomatoes, zucchini, squash, “potatoes to the poor” (don’t know what those are). Chips, paella. Rices. Sweet and sour chicken. Curried pork. Hindu-style lentils. Some really nice buns. Sushi. Bread station. Indoor seating, exterior in the piaza, plus rear seating where we were — really nice, water, a pond with fishing. The area in front is just for Red Level adults only.
39:15 The main buffet at Gran Meliá. Good experience. They promised variation and didn’t lie. Tonight an Indian vibe — naan breads fantastic. Veggie dishes excellent. They went hard on the hummus. Fruit selections changed, as have some of the desserts. Tonight there’s more seafood: serious crab action.
40:52 Pangaea for breakfast. Walked in about ten to eight; been open about twenty minutes. Typical fruit but plums, papaya, pear. Smoothie station. Ice cream and fish not available at breakfast. Salads, seafood, guacamole. Typical breakfast items: bacon, beans, a tuna pie. Pancakes being made — pancakes, waffles, chocolate pancakes, churros. Dates with bacon. Cheese and meats. Jumbly cheese and crackers. Yogurts (kiwi, must be). Juices including pineapple. Pre-packed pastries, unpacked too, donuts. Toast station with four bread types, jams and marmalades.
43:07 Omelette station — a lovely lady cooking omelettes. Eggs on display. Some repetition but now English sausages. Those aren’t onion rings, they’re fried squid. Not falling for that one again. Cereals — they have Sugar Puffs. Different milks including soy and oat for the North American market. Bread — another toaster, good selection along with butter (three types) and lots of oil. An incredibly good breakfast selection.
44:24 Oasis. Open for breakfast for Red Level members only. Open for lunch for everyone. Selection of fruit, juices (carafes brought to the table). Good bread, salsas, oils. More fruit including strawberries. Meat and cheese. Cereals (Sugar Puffs again). Donuts — Bertie enjoyed a chocolate one. Sweeties for the kids. Gluten-free options — they get more North Americans here. Made-to-order: waffles, Katie’s omelette, the kids’ made-to-order pancakes nicely designed.
46:22 Nami, the Asian restaurant. We’ve got a table. Cool decor — terracotta soldiers either side. There are teppanyaki tables we weren’t booked on. Veggie gyoza and spring rolls as starters. Connected to Nami, adjacent, is Duo (steakhouse), which we haven’t dined in. Private dining area connecting them, both serviced from the same kitchen. Booking very much advised — we nearly didn’t get into Nami. Mains. Tempura banana presented beautifully.
47:48 The Italian, in a glass box adjacent to the Sunset Balcony and Plaza Atlántico. We’ve had lunch there already, dinner tonight. The bruschetta at lunch was amazing — one of the best I’ve ever had. The pizza was one of the worst I’ve ever had. Skip the pizza, but keep the Italian on your agenda.
48:38 Oasis ice cream bar, just off the infinity pool, next to the main Oasis restaurant. This very friendly gentleman serves all the flavours. A top tip: more ice cream elsewhere — at 6:30 in Pangaea, and in the morning the real gelato Italian ice cream in the Asian restaurant.
49:29 Open only during the day: Agave (pronounced agave), Mexican themed. 12:30 till 4. Amazing poolside setting. Not included in everyone’s package, but lots still come. Flo with chicken nuggets. Veggie burrito for me. Katie’s on a salad. Lovely traditional guacamole. Thumbs up from Bertie. Burritos by the pool here in Tenerife.
50:37 Nemo’s Lounge, just off Plaza Atlántico. A really nice little sweet spot. A bar only. Beautiful fish tank. Great little quiet spot for an evening drink. Where the drinks come from if you’re in Plaza Atlántico. Staffed by these great guys.
51:07 The Red Level Lounge. Just before 5. From 5 to 6, somewhat of a happy hour. Lovely cakes, savouries, lots of drinks including top-shelf, all by the wonderful Dylan. Two TVs back-to-back where kids can put on movies (Harry Potter now). Sandwiches, crisps, sweeties in the corner. An ice cream machine (away just now). Concierge in the corner. A kids’ area for Red Level bookers. A lift to the rooms.
52:25 Two main ways to access the promenade. The beautiful helix, the swirl. Or the gate at the north end in the Red Level. Both need your key.
52:44 The natural rock pools, the ocean pools, adjacent to the resort. A way to get access to a bit of nature. Florence snorkelling. What have you seen? Crabs, fishes, really cool shells. Easy and safe. Really shallow. A gate with your card, a few steps, you’re in the natural ocean rock pools.
53:25 The resort’s just there. The shallow pool Florence was in, then a much deeper pool. Really cool public access seconds from the resort.
53:43 Enjoyment of the promenade. A small playground. Florence balancing. A decent playground, public access on the promenade. A nice place for an adventure with your children.
54:06 The secure key-card operated gate Florence told you about — your room key gets you in and out of the resort to the promenade.
54:17 Early morning at the Gran Meliá Palacio de Isora. Time for the stay or stay away. First, some negatives and positives as a critical friend.
54:52 It was jarring how many pieces of paper we got. Visit England marks you down for more than one. Here: four or five on check-in, then a letter in an envelope in the room that evening, then another envelope with two pieces the next day. Seven or eight pieces. All useful info, all part of the sales for the timeshares. Given it’s all on the app, they could improve.
55:32 Entertainment space. We’ve enjoyed it, but it’s not been a must-do like other resorts. The stage is limited, so they can’t put on the kind of shows you’d see elsewhere. Seating is incredibly limited — within 30m of the stage, around 40 seats. Loads of people miss out, standing or sat on the floor. Some productions great, some OK; on the wrong nights we’d have been disappointed.
56:25 Kids’ club. Kids really enjoyed the activities, but the room itself is really poor. A windowless room with very little on the walls. Somewhere I felt bad leaving my children despite the fun. Parents notice, not children. Activities were fantastic.
56:55 Small thing: the menus, physical menus, the print, really scratchy across the resort almost without exception. Spend a little more on print, please.
57:10 The good things. In the Red Level family area, a gentleman called Dylan, always on it making everyone happy. Fantastic guy. Others in the bar team are similar. Hold on to them.
57:31 The food has been really good. I gave a hard time about that pizza, and yes it really was bad, but everything else has been amazing. Really good quality. Breadth, variance, consistency. Top level. If you like food, this is a place you should come.
57:57 The long pool behind me is a really cool feature. Instagrammable. We’ve really enjoyed it alongside the other pools.
58:11 One of the really amazing things was those dinosaurs. Mainly for kids — I loved it too. Something you just don’t see anywhere else.
58:29 Is this a stay or stay away? Definitely a stay. We’ve really enjoyed our time. A fantastic resort for families and for adults only. The food, the breadth of the resort, the entertainment, everything adds up to a really good stay. Gran Meliá Palacio de Isora is a stay from The Resort Report.