Disclosure: The Hard Rock Hotel Tenerife provided a few extra perks during my stay (the same disclosure that appears on the YouTube video). Everything in this review is my own opinion. I pay my own way to most of the resorts I review and would have done here too.
The short version: Stay. If you want a properly alive, party-leaning, music-everywhere resort on the west coast of Tenerife, the Hard Rock Hotel Tenerife is one of the strongest on the island. The entertainment is genuinely electric, the rooftop bar at the 16th floor (open to non-residents too) is a real highlight, every room has a balcony with a view, and the team turn the place around when something goes wrong. It’s also a tight site with some real misses, and it isn’t the resort for you if you want quiet, paper menus, or a resort that pretends the world outside its walls doesn’t exist. Visited 4 to 7 August 2025, three nights as a family.
Quick facts
| Location | Avenida de Adeje 300, Playa Paraíso, 38678 Adeje, Tenerife, Spain |
| Resort tier | Five-star branded resort hotel |
| Best for | Couples and families who want music, energy, late-night entertainment, and a rooftop bar with serious views |
| Pools | The Largo (the headline lagoon pool, under refurbishment during my visit, scheduled reopen 15 August 2025), the Eden adults-only pool with swim-up bar, the family pool, and the Kitty Splash kids’ pool with slides |
| Restaurants included on all-inclusive | Sessions (main buffet, breakfast / lunch / dinner), Munchies (pizza and casual food, by the family pool while Largo is closed), the Beach Club (lunch only), Sway Cinco (Mexican, dinner), The Third (sports bar style, dinner), the Splash Bar (lunch by the family pool) |
| Restaurants extra cost | Leet (high-end tasting menu), the Italian, the Asian fusion, Montauk (steakhouse). Discounted for all-inclusive guests, full price otherwise |
| Room categories | Studio Suite Gold, Rock Suite Diamond (significantly more space, espresso machine, separate room for kids), Rock Royalty (top tier, floors 12 to 15 of the Nana Tower with private check-in and exclusive lounge) |
| Spa and gym | Full-service spa with thermal journey on floor minus 2 (opens out to surface), gym with barbells, dumbbells, resistance machines, treadmills, bicycles. Spa is extra cost even on all-inclusive. Once or twice a week there is a family spa session |
| Headline feature | The 16th-floor rooftop Sunset Bar — open to non-residents — with sunset views over the west coast and DJ / acoustic sets. Drinks NOT included in all-inclusive |
| Kids’ clubs | Rock City (kids’ club), Teen Spirit (teens) with a 5pm–6pm family slot daily |
| Visit dates | 4 to 7 August 2025 (three nights) |
First impressions
You walk in and two things hit you at once. The first is the signature lemongrass scent, piped through the public spaces. The second is the noise. This resort is alive. There’s a vibe right from reception, music coming from somewhere, people moving, energy. You can tell within thirty seconds whether this is the resort for you. If you want hushed marble and a string quartet, this isn’t it. If you want a holiday that feels like a holiday from the moment you check in, you’ll know straight away.
The Hard Rock brand sits behind everything: rock memorabilia through the building, guitar motifs on the bed sheets, rock music on the lift music, a cleaning bot branded up with the logo wheeling around. Even the wet floor signs look good (and as someone who pays far too much attention to wet floor signs, I appreciate this). It would be very easy for a Hard Rock to feel like a themed restaurant stretched into a hotel; this manages not to.
The headline: the 16th-floor Sunset Bar
If there’s one thing to know about this resort before you book, it’s the rooftop. The Sunset Bar on the 16th floor isn’t just for residents — guests at nearby resorts come up to the Hard Rock specifically for the experience, which tells you something about how good it is. It’s high enough to give you a proper west-coast sunset view, the entertainment is excellent (DJ sets, acoustic guitarists), and the atmosphere genuinely sells the “live like a rock star” line the brand is leaning on.
One caveat: drinks at the Sunset Bar are NOT included in the all-inclusive package. You pay separately up there, even with the wristband on. It’s a deliberate decision by the resort, presumably to keep the bar functional for outside guests too, but it does sting if you’d expected the rooftop to be part of what you’d already paid for. Factor it in.
The entertainment
This is where the Hard Rock genuinely beats its competition on the island. The nighttime entertainment doesn’t feel like the polite cabaret you get at most all-inclusive resorts. It feels like a live show. There are bands. The building itself is lit up like a Hollywood marquee after dark — twin lift shafts dancing with colour, the logo glittering, the whole property leaning into the rock-show identity. It runs late, it runs loud, and it’s the thing guests talk about when they get home.
During the day there’s aqua fit in both the adult pool and the family pool, plus a yoga class I didn’t get to. Rock City is the kids’ club; Teen Spirit handles teenagers and runs a family slot from 5pm to 6pm each day. The kids loved both. My son and daughter spent most of the trip wanting to go back to Rock City rather than the pool, which says something.
The pools
Honest news first: during my stay, the Largo (the big lagoon pool that’s the resort’s headline pool) was closed for refurbishment, scheduled to reopen on 15 August 2025. So I can’t review it. What I can tell you is that the team had visibly redoubled their efforts to compensate guests on stays during the closure, and Munchies (the casual pizza-and-food outlet that normally sits by Largo) had been relocated next to the family pool. If you’re reading this and booking now, Largo should be open and running again.
The Eden adults-only pool is a genuine highlight. Music playing, swim-up bar, in-water lounge sections with half an inch of water surrounding them on each side (which get well used as you’d expect). It’s a relaxed, music-everywhere atmosphere that suits the resort. The bar staff know what they’re doing.
The family pool is a decent size, mixed depth, surrounded by those same in-water seating lounges, and (helpfully) the loungers were NOT all taken at 9am like they are at some Tenerife properties. Munchies and the Splash Bar sit just alongside it, so you can get food and drink without leaving the area.
The Kitty Splash kids’ pool is a separate, shallow pool with a small slide and an active-water section with tipping buckets. Genuinely fun for younger kids, safe, and parents can sit on the edge. Behind it is a tiered playground — colourful, with rope nets and slides on multiple levels — that the kids spent more time on than I’d expected.
The rooms
Three room categories worth knowing about, and the difference between them is bigger than at most resorts.
Studio Suite Gold is the entry-level room. We were in one in Tower 2 (the Nana Tower), made up as a twin with the kids on a sofa-bed. Decent room: jacuzzi spa bath in the bathroom, dual mirrors that light up, a separate cupboard for the toilet (this took us a second to find), a big rainfall shower with handheld attachment, plenty of storage, waffle robes and slippers, a safe, a hair dryer and a small bottle fridge. Tea and coffee facilities are standard rather than special — kettle and Nescafé pods rather than an espresso machine. The mini bar (Coca-Cola and water in the fridge) is included on all-inclusive. Sweet touch on arrival: the Cardi B “B-Sides” detail on the toilet roll, complimentary chocolates beautifully presented, and a printed playlist for your stay. The room has a desk, which I appreciated as I was working remotely, and power sockets on both sides of the bed (one side has standard sockets, the other has USBs). The TV is generous and the use of mirrors makes the room feel bigger than the floor plan probably is. One small thing: every piece of glassware in the room is deliberately wonky. Quirky on day one, mildly annoying by day three.
Rock Suite Diamond is a significant step up. Separate room for the kids with its own door, a second toilet for them, an espresso machine in the kitchenette area (rather than the Gold’s kettle setup), a much bigger jacuzzi tub in the master bathroom (genuinely two-to-three person sized), and a properly large bedroom with an Xbox 360 on the TV. The toiletry selection upgrades too: dental kits, shave kits, sanitary bags, shower caps. If you can afford the jump and you’re travelling with family, this is the room to aim for.
Rock Royalty is the top tier — only on floors 12 to 15 of the Nana Tower. It comes with its own reception (a separate cool lobby with memorabilia on display), and a Rock Royalty Lounge on the 15th floor that serves breakfast in the morning and food and drink from 4pm to 10pm. I didn’t film inside the lounge out of respect for guests using it, but I can confirm it’s the next level. If “living like a rock star” is the assignment, this is how you achieve it.
One thing that’s genuinely true across all three categories: every room has a balcony, and many of them have a west-facing view that lines up with the sunset. When booking, if there’s a view option, take the west-facing one. The sun comes down in a straight line off the balcony and it’s the kind of view people pay extra for at most resorts.
The food
The Hard Rock has a lot of food options, but the split between included and extra-cost matters more here than at most all-inclusive resorts.
Included on all-inclusive: Sessions (the main buffet, open for breakfast, lunch and dinner), Munchies (pizza and casual food, currently by the family pool during Largo’s refurbishment), the Beach Club (lunch only by the adult pool), the Splash Bar (lunch by the family pool — same menu as Munchies), Sway Cinco (Mexican, dinner), and The Third (the sports-bar-style restaurant doing classic Hard Rock Café food and drink).
Extra cost (with a small all-inclusive discount): Leet (the high-end tasting menu experience), the Italian, the Asian fusion, and Montauk the steakhouse — which I’m told is incredibly popular.
Sessions is the heart of the operation and it’s strong. Two-route layout, great display work (the pasta is presented in an open guitar case, which is the kind of branding flourish that should be naff but actually works), live cooking stations for meats and fish, a build-your-own taco station, paella, salads, a desserts area that doesn’t quit, fresh fruit including pomegranate, an ice cream rotator, and a Mr Whippy machine the kids treated as an attraction in its own right.
Breakfast at Sessions is genuinely good. Hot chocolate churros, freshly made brownies, pancakes and waffles with proper sauces including Nutella, baked beans done correctly (a low bar that most overseas resorts somehow miss), hash browns, bacon, English sausages, a fresh omelette station, döner kebab on the breakfast spread (which I have never seen anywhere before, but it works), various cheeses including smoked, three or four bread types in the toast station, four milk options including soy and oat, and — importantly — Sugar Puffs. Two Nespresso machines tucked away (only available at breakfast, not dinner, which has caused complaints). And a mimosa station, because of course there is. If you want to “have breakfast like a rock star”, this delivers.
Sway Cinco is the included-on-all-inclusive Mexican. We had veggie tacos, cheese quesadillas, a chicken dish, and the kids had chicken and scallop. Solid, not transcendent. The dessert course is where it earns its place — Florence had strawberry ice cream served in chocolate spheres, I had a chocolate taco. Worth a booking.
The Third is the sports-bar option for dinner and it’s the closest thing here to the classic Hard Rock Café menu. Nachos, hot dogs, plain pasta on request for fussy kids (the staff are very willing to go off-menu for children), and the decor genuinely is fun. We were there at 6.30pm and it was quiet; I suspect it picks up considerably later in the evening.
The Beach Club at lunch sits right by the Eden adult pool with views to the sea. Hummus (we may have over-ordered), proper kids’ nuggets and chips for the children, decent salads. Pleasant rather than spectacular. The Splash Bar by the family pool runs the same menu as Munchies — pizza, chicken, sweet potato fries, onion rings — and crucially has a self-serve ice lolly cabinet with Oreo ice creams, smarty push pops, and the multi-flavour lolly packs. The kids treated this as a major attraction.
I can’t speak to the extra-cost restaurants — Leet, the Italian, the Asian, and Montauk — because we didn’t dine there. If you want a full review of those, leave a comment and I’ll loop back on a future visit.
Worth flagging: the Constant Grind coffee shop just off main reception is genuinely good. Open seasonally, but daily on our visit. Coffees, normal drinks, and a properly tempting cabinet of donuts, cookies, carrot cake, chocolate cake, brownies (including a gluten-free option), and a selection of sandwiches and subs that looked better than they had any right to.
The spa, the gym, and the Rock Shop
The spa is on floor minus 2 but opens out to the surface, which is the right way to do a spa. Full thermal journey, an outdoor area, hydrotherapy. Family spa sessions happen once or twice a week for a few hours, which is the right call — most spas exclude under-16s entirely, and Florence isn’t going to be in another spa until she’s a teenager, so this matters. Excellent robes and slippers. One miss: there’s no drinks service in the outdoor spa area, at least on the family session. I would happily have paid for a Coke Zero or a cocktail out there. As someone who runs a spa professionally, that’s leaving real revenue on the table. Spa access is extra cost even on all-inclusive. Highly recommended if you’re here for a week.
The gym is comprehensive. Barbells, dumbbells, resistance machines, treadmills, bicycles. Everything you’d want if working out on holiday is your thing.
The Rock Shop is the on-site retail. Branded clothing, hoodies, glassware, the lemongrass diffusers used in the resort (if you want to take the scent home, you can), flip-flops, swimwear, kids’ and baby clothing. Quality is genuinely good — this is not the usual hotel-shop tat. There’s a pair of pink avocado-print male swim shorts that I’m still thinking about. If you’re at the Hard Rock, it’s worth a look.
Don’t miss the memorabilia tour: it’s a pre-bookable guided tour with Valentine (book through guest services), 4pm most days, walking you through pieces from artists across the property including an Elton John piece that I quite fancied for myself.
The small things that drag the score
I want to be a fair critic, so here are the honest detractors.
Vibe mismatch. Everyone here is beautiful. Tattoos, skimpy swimwear, attitude, music. I caught myself wondering whether I was cool enough to be at the Hard Rock, and that’s a real consideration. For some of you, that’s the entire reason to come; for others, it’s a reason to stay away. Be honest with yourself about which one you are.
The lemongrass diffusers blast hard. The signature scent itself is lovely. The delivery, especially in narrow corridors, is heavy enough that it occasionally hits you in the face. Five-star properties tend to dial this back further than the Hard Rock does.
It’s a tight site. For the number of bedrooms, the footprint isn’t huge, and with the Largo closed during our visit, that pressure was more visible. The team mitigated it well; once Largo is back open this should be far less obvious. Add to that some neighbourhood factors — there’s traffic noise and I heard some construction during the day from elsewhere in Costa Adeje — and it’s not a quiet escape.
Phone-dependent menus. There are essentially no paper menus. You scan a QR code for everything. If you’ve left your phone in the room, lost signal, or your battery’s dead, you can’t see what’s on offer. For older guests in particular this is a real friction point, and it’s an easy fix any time the resort wants to make it.
Rooftop drinks not included. Already covered. The Sunset Bar is one of the best features of the property and the drinks aren’t on the all-inclusive wristband. Plan accordingly.
Wonky glassware. A small thing, but every piece of glassware in our room is deliberately tilted. Charming on arrival, slightly tiresome by day three. Pouring water into a wonky tumbler at 7am with kids needing breakfast is not a feature.
The small things that lift it
Miriam. One of the duty managers, working the floor properly, visibly helping guests and clearly ensuring people were having a good time. Including me and the family. Service-led management makes a real difference at a resort this size.
The whole-resort music thing. The lifts play rock. The bedsheets have guitars on them. The cleaning bot is branded. The wet floor signs look good. The building lights up at night. None of it is essential. All of it adds up to a resort that feels like it was designed by people who actually cared about what staying here would feel like, rather than ticked off a checklist.
Public toilets. Spotless throughout. Not everyone notices; I do. At this resort scale, that’s a clean operations win.
Every room has a balcony with a view. Not all of them face west, but the ones that do are exceptional. Worth requesting at booking.
Who is the Hard Rock Hotel Tenerife for?
Couples and families who want a resort with energy. If your idea of a holiday is staying up late with live music, decent food, a swim-up bar, and a rooftop sunset cocktail, this is the resort. It’s also a strong family option if your kids are old enough to enjoy proper kids’ and teens’ clubs and don’t need an early-bedtime sanctuary, because the music does carry into the evening.
It’s NOT the resort if you want a quiet five-star sanctuary, paper menus you can read without your phone, or a property that pretends life outside the gates doesn’t exist. If you’d prefer that, look at the Gran Meliá Palacio de Isora or Bahía del Duque on the same coast.
And if you’re choosing a room, push for at least a Rock Suite Diamond if budget allows, or Rock Royalty if you want the top experience. The Studio Suite Gold is genuinely fine; the higher tiers are genuinely better.
Frequently asked questions
The verdict: stay or stay away?
The honest detractors first. The vibe is not for everyone — this is a party-leaning resort and you’ll know within five minutes whether that’s you. The lemongrass diffusers come at you hard in corridors. It’s a tight site and there’s neighbourhood noise. Drinks at the Sunset Bar aren’t included in the all-inclusive. Menus are phone-only. The glassware in the room is wonky. And during my visit, the Largo pool was closed for refurbishment — which by the time you read this should be a non-issue.
On the other side: the entertainment is the best on this part of Tenerife, and possibly the best on the whole island. The 16th-floor Sunset Bar earns its reputation. Every room has a balcony with a view, and the west-facing ones give you a sunset most resorts charge extra for. The food, while split between included and extra-cost, is strong where it counts. Sessions for breakfast is genuinely excellent. The spa, when you find it, is properly good. The Rock City kids’ club is the kind of thing children want to go back to. The Rock Suite Diamond and Rock Royalty tiers are a real upgrade. Miriam and the duty management team turn the place around when something goes wrong. And every detail, from the wet floor signs to the lift music to the guitars on the bedsheets, is the work of people who actually cared about what staying here would feel like.
The Hard Rock Hotel Tenerife is a clear, confident stay. If you want a resort that feels like a holiday from the moment you walk in, with the best nighttime entertainment on the west coast of Tenerife, a rooftop bar people travel for, and a brand identity that’s been thought through to the last detail, this is the one. Just go in with the right expectations on energy and noise. Stay.
Full video transcript
Auto-generated from the YouTube video and lightly cleaned. Timestamps preserved.
00:00 Welcome to the Hard Rock Hotel on the beautiful island of Tenerife. This is The Resort Report and it’s my delight, my pleasure to give you a full report on this resort. We’re going to be covering the rooms, the food, the pools, the entertainment, and so much more. Before we get into it: full disclosure, the Hard Rock has given me a few extra perks, and I disclose that to you in the description below. Let’s head into reception. What’s going to hit us straight away, as well as a lemongrass signature scent which is delightful, is the noise. This resort is alive. There is a vibe. I want to start this whole review with a megamix of the nighttime entertainment because that’s going to give you the best flavour of what this resort is all about. Let’s go.
05:20 So the 16th is the rooftop bar experience here at Hard Rock Tenerife and it’s open not just to residents. I know people who have stayed at nearby resorts who have come here to the Hard Rock to experience this because it is quite the vibe. Let me take you out. There’s going to be a little bit of wind noise — forgive me for that, we are quite high up. Let me show you the view and what it looks and feels like up here. How beautiful is that? Look at that. I’m going to capture the sunset as it comes down. In the meantime, let me show you some of the entertainment that happens up here.
08:03 Hope you enjoyed that as much as we did of an evening. This place is electric with that entertainment, and it goes into the night. Music is a big part of the brand of both the Hard Rock cafes and the hotels and resort, and that’s really evident here at the resort in Tenerife. As the sun comes down, the resort comes alive. The building behind me is sparkling, twinkling, the logo as well, and these two lift shafts dancing with colour and light. The whole building glittering like we’re in Hollywood, Los Angeles. Really cool to see. That extends all the way through the resort. They’ve really put a lot of effort into thinking about how to make this resort feel alive and electric throughout people’s stay.
09:19 Food is incredibly important when you’re staying at any resort. Here at Hard Rock they have you covered in a number of ways with a bunch of different restaurants, but not all are included on your all-inclusive stay. Let me tell you about the ones that are. First, Sessions — the main buffet restaurant where you’ll have breakfast. You can have lunch and dinner there too. There’s Munchies, which is now next to the family pool. It’ll be down by the Largo when that reopens. Pizza, all kinds of wonderful things. The Beach Club is open for lunch only. After that, your main dinner restaurants. Utilising the same floor space, we have the Mexican, the Spanish, and the Asian fusion. Behind me, Leet, a high-end tasting experience restaurant — not included. Neither is the Asian nor the Italian. Included on all-inclusive is the Mexican (Sway Cinco), the Third (which is the Hard Rock cafe-style food and drink), Sessions, Beach Club, Munchies. The final restaurant is Montauk — the steakhouse, incredibly popular. Lots of food options, something to suit every taste, but not all included.
11:38 The main buffet restaurant at the Hard Rock Tenerife is Sessions. Welcomed at the door, drink service done by the tables, indoor and outdoor seating, terrace on a nice evening. I’ll start over here with chicken and meats being cooked and served. Love how they put the pasta in a guitar case. Pizzas including margarita, great size, great thickness. Choose your own pasta, lasagna, choose your own sauce. Paella. Make-your-own taco station with tomato, fish, artichoke. Fish in quick production on the grill. More fish, mussels, all of these resorts in Tenerife love these wrinkled potatoes. Spinach. Great salad selection. More options, tuna, salad and fish including smoked herring. Different sauces — pink sauce, aioli, Caesar, tartare. Small fruit selection including pomegranate. Onto the desserts: really nice options. Ice cream including Estrella. Popcorn, two options for cake. A Mr Whippy machine the kids will go nuts for. Fresh fruits including apricots, great-looking bread. Centre section: cold meats. Nacho stand with everything you need. Olives. Terra sausage, chalit on toast. Chicken soup, veggie soup (tonight roasted pumpkin cream). Fried items: sweet potato fries, veg gyozas, chicken nuggets to make my son very happy, mashed potatoes, Brussels sprouts to make my son very unhappy. Aubergine, cauliflower, more salad, hummus and beetroot hummus, then on to cheeses. Sessions for dinner: a great spread.
15:44 Breakfast time at Sessions. Breakfast like a rock star. Hot chocolate churros porridge. Brownie freshly made by this gentleman. Pancakes and waffles with various sauces including Nutella. The baked beans look good — sometimes resorts overseas don’t do baked beans properly, but no issues here. Hash browns, bacon, English sausage, tomatoes. Omelettes made fresh to order. One thing I’ve not seen before is döner — döner for breakfast, surely for the English market. Egg station for fried eggs, scrambled eggs, scrambled with vegetables, boiled. Various cheeses including fresh and smoked, mozzarella balls. Cold meats presented like little flowers. Salad items including shredded chicken caesar — never seen shredded chicken caesar at breakfast before. Fish: herring, salmon, mackerel. More fruits including blackberries and apricots, kiwis. Yogurts, good milk selection: whole, skimmed, oats, lactose-free, soy. Cereals — and they have Sugar Puffs, very important. Juices: orange, apple, mango, water. Donuts, including glazed (so many resorts just go to chocolate). Pastries, onion. Bread including baguettes, toast stations. Around the central island: chicken-ball nuggets, hot dogs, sausage, fish fingers, falafel, wedges, dried fruits and nuts including plums (big fan of plums), sweeties for the kids, self-service whipped cream next to the sweeties (recipe for disaster, the kids will go hard on that), apple cake, carrot cake.
20:09 Excellent selection for breakfast. Back in Sessions for breakfast — there is variation: switch-up, Brussels sprouts inclusion, tuna patty, proper chicken nuggets. What I really wanted to show you is something I missed yesterday: the Nespresso machines. Two of them in here. They really add a touch of luxury and elegance. I’ve seen complaints they’re not available for dinner. Another one right by the entrance. Really cool: this mimosa station. If you want to have breakfast like a rock star, this is what you want at breakfast time here at Hard Rock Tenerife.
21:10 A few options for lunch. One is the Beach Club, down by the adult pool. Really nice situation. Love the branding. Our food’s arrived, served by this wonderful man. Great views to the sea beyond. We’ve gone hard on the hummus — maybe ordered too much. Bertie and Flo have cheeky nuggets and chips. Down at the beach club today for lunch.
21:52 We’re at the Splash Bar, by the family pool, where Aqua Fit is going on. Food just came out — the menu is the same as Munchies. I’ve gone for a pizza, Bertie has chicken and chips. Sweet potato fries, onion rings, chicken. One of the great things about this food location: they have ice cream available — if you’re all-inclusive, help yourself to these ice lollies. Oreo ice creams on one side, the multi-pack lollies the kids love, smarty push pops. Splash Bar for lunch.
23:04 One of the restaurants included in all-inclusive is Sway Cinco. Our food’s arrived. Wonderful outdoor seating as well as indoor. I believe they actually reuse this space for all of the different restaurants. Bertie’s got chicken and scallop, wonderful chicken dish for my wife, cheese quesadillas, veggie tacos for me, obligatory guacamole. Let’s dig in. Desserts: Bertie’s gone with chocolate. Flo has strawberry ice cream in these amazing spheres. I have a chocolate taco.
23:56 Tonight for dinner we’re at The Third — sports bar with the food you might recognise from normal Hard Rock Cafés. Check out this decor. It’s quiet — we’re early at 6.30pm. I’m sure it’s hopping with people later. Nachos (tabello chicken and the veggie option), Bertie going with plain pasta (they’re always willing to do special requests), Flo with a beautiful hot dog.
24:43 Open seasonally but at least daily on our visit: the Constant Grind coffee shop, just off main reception and from the family pool. Coffee, normal drinks, your liquor, plus a selection of food items: donuts, cookies, carrot cake, chocolate cake, brownies, gluten-free chocolate cake, sandwiches and subs that look pretty good. Nice name, even better food and drink.
25:32 During my stay, unfortunately the Largo lagoon pool, the big one, isn’t open — closed for refurbishment, scheduled reopen 15 August 2025. So you won’t have any problem there. The team have been redoubling efforts for every guest during the refurbishment. What I can do is show you the rest of the pools. I’ve come down to the adult pool, the adult-only pool here. A great vibe in the Eden pool, lounges with half an inch of water surrounding on both sides, well used by guests. Swim-up bar behind me, stools just coming out of the water, guests enjoying drinks with no kids in this pool. A lovely tranquil place to be with the music playing all day. Very different to the family pool.
26:47 We’re in the main family pool now, Florence and I. Decent-sized pool, adorned by these in-water seating lounges. Pretty busy right now but there is space on the lounges. Despite this being the main pool at the moment, the lounges are NOT all taken at 9am like other resorts. Florence having fun — football. Let’s go check out the baby paddling pool.
27:21 Final pool: the Kitty Splash kids’ pool. Little slide, active water with the buckets coming down, nice and shallow. Bertie just there. Florence has come down the slide. Let me see if I can get a shot of them flying down.
27:48 As well as the kiddie pool, a plethora of kids’ activities on the resort. A wonderfully colourful tiered playground — rope nets, slides. Move up another level: another slide and more challenges for the kids. And then up the top there’s Rock City, the kids’ club. And Teen Spirit is just behind me — cool activities for teenagers, with a family slot 5 till 6 each day. Let me show you a megamix of what the kids have got up to.
32:11 Not just kids having fun during the day. I didn’t get to the yoga class but I did get the aqua fit classes in both the adult pool and the family pool.
33:02 Outside the room now. Let me take you in. Studio Suite Gold, Tower 2 / Block 2. Made up for our party size — kids on the sofa, made up as a twin. First the bathroom. Studio suite, so it’s included within the room. Jacuzzi spa, shampoo and shower gel, dual mirrors that light up, light switch lights up the units below with our towels — medium quality, not as fluffy as I’d like but still pretty good. Hand soap and body lotion. A tabletop vanity mirror with light. Toilet tucked away in this cupboard — really fun B-sides by Cardi B written on the toilet roll. Functional, easy. Into the shower: lovely and big, more toiletries (shampoo, conditioner, shower gel), the rainfall just fits me in, plus the handheld. Spacious. Back to the room: plenty of storage, waffle robes, slippers, an iron, shoe horn and polish, spare pillow (no doubt my wife will steal before I do), soul water suspiciously similar to Fever Tree. Safe, hair dryer, little bottle fridge. Tea and coffee facilities — pretty standard, Nescafé pods, kettle. All the glassware in the room is wonky — there you go. Mini bar — included on all-inclusive — Coca-Cola and water in the fridge. On check-in you do get this playlist for your stay, a pre-made playlist for the music. Onto the desk — so glad there’s a desk, many properties haven’t had one and I am working remotely. Nice cookies as a welcome. Power sockets including USBs. Kids’ two twin beds. Power sockets on either side — one side standard, the other two USBs. Both come with lamps. A Bose radio. Telephone for reception. Nice chocolates beautifully presented. The big thing besides the great TV, use of mirrors, how light it is, the decor, this mirror up here: the balcony. Nice and big, half day-bed, another chair and table, view heading west. The sun comes down in a straight line just there for sunset. Studio Suite Gold, Block 2, floor 410.
37:25 Showed you a Gold; now a Rock Suite Diamond. Significantly different. Bed made out for our children — entirely separate room with separate toilet for them. Fridge and tea and coffee facilities, now with an espresso machine. Big TV. Access out to the balcony. Through to the main bedroom — lovely big room, another TV with an Xbox 360. Bathroom in the master: jacuzzi bubble bath big enough for two or three. Dual vanity with light-up mirrors. More significant toiletries: dental kits, shave kits, sanitary bags, shower caps. Shower similar with rainfall and handheld, lovely and large. Toilet similar. Bed similar, similar amenities, one extra plug socket. Fantastic balcony — seating area, amazing views perfect for sunset. Diamond Rock Suite — highly recommend trying to get the best room possible because they add a lot of value. When booking you choose your room — choose west-facing for the sunset.
41:12 Top room class: Rock Royalty. Only on floors 12 to 15 in Building 2, the Nana Tower. Benefits from their own reception — wonderful cool lobby with memorabilia where they check in. And a Rock Royalty Lounge on the 15th. Through those glass doors is the Rock Royalty Lounge. Cool little space with food and drink exclusive for Rock Royalty guests. I’m not going to talk in there out of respect for the guests. Breakfast experience in the mornings, food and drink 4pm until 10pm. Very cool indeed. If you want to live like a rock star, becoming Rock Royalty at the Hard Rock Tenerife is one way to do it.
42:56 Small things compound. There’s a little cleaning bot branded up as Hard Rock. The wet floor signs are really cool — I think about wet floor signs way too much. The music everywhere. The lifts have rock music for the lift music. The bed sheets have guitars on them. Seriously cool. They’re thinking about the small things here at the Hard Rock Tenerife.
43:53 Full-service spa and gym. Floor minus 2 — sounds underground but opens out to the surface. Welcomed by Elena at the desk. Given your locker key, robe, towel. Behind me: gym. Comprehensive — barbells, dumbbells, resistance machines, treadmills, bicycles. Get changed and off outside. First impressions of the spa: fantastic. A sneak peek outside. This spa has a full thermal journey. Once or twice a week for just a few hours there’s a family spa session — what we’re enjoying today.
47:05 I run a world-class spa on the shores of Lake Windermere, so my bar is high. The Hard Rock spa with the thermal journey does an excellent job — all the main parts you want. Love this outdoor area. Especially like the family session — at my resort, it’s a real bone of contention with guests that they can’t bring kids into wet areas. For Flo, this is the only time she’ll be in a spa until she’s 16. They don’t have any drinks provision at this session, at least — would have been great to have a drink, cocktail or Coke Zero, out here. They’re missing a lot of sales — we do 20 grand worth of drink sales in our spa a week. And the guest experience would be lifted. Loved the robes, the slippers, hoping I get to keep the flip-flops. This session and the others are additional cost even on all-inclusive. Highly recommend it for a week’s stay.
48:49 Memorabilia is one of the most amazing things about Hard Rock Hotels — throughout the property. With pre-booking you can meet Valentine who does a wonderful tour. Need to pre-book with guest services. He does these tours regularly. Started off with this wonderful piece from Elton John, which I think would look really good on me.
51:06 Another huge part of Hard Rock Cafés and Hotels: the Rock Shop. Hard Rock Tenerife is no exception. Branded and unbranded stuff. Clothing, hoodies, glassware, the signature smell of the resort with red diffusers available. Flip-flops, swimwear. Really good and stylish — not crappy hotel shop stuff. A pair of male swim shorts with avocados — pink. An avocado-style swimsuit for men. I’d look pretty awesome in those. Kids’ clothes, baby clothes. Stylish stuff. Must when you’re at the Hard Rock Tenerife — check out the Rock Shop.
52:43 Time to give you the stay or stay away rating. Before that, the not-so-good things and the great things. Not so good: I don’t know if I’m cool enough to be at the Hard Rock — everyone here is beautiful, tattoos, skimpy swimwear, music. It’s a consideration. The signature smell — like the lemongrass — but the diffusers blast it in high doses, especially in tight corridors. This is a tight site for the number of bedrooms. We’ve missed out on Largo — the team have remedied that for guests during this time and you won’t have the problem. Neighbourhood noise — street level, people driving fast nearby, some pecking of construction. Some exclusions — drinks at the Sunset Bar not included on all-inclusive. You need your phone — no paper menus, over-reliance on phones.
54:59 Some of those things are clearly positives too. The noise — this is a party place — fantastic. Like being at a rock show every single day. Sunset session on the 16th floor — really cool. Shared immediately with friends and family. Management turnaround — Miriam in particular, one of the duty managers, has done an excellent job walking the floor, helping guests. Every room has a great balcony. Kids loved Rock City and Teen Spirit. The public toilets have been absolutely spotless.
56:30 So — stay or stay away. From how much fun we’ve had here, this is definitely a stay. If you’re into partying, want to stay up late listening to great music, having a good drink, chilling out by the pool with great music, good food and great company, then the Hard Rock Tenerife is definitely somewhere you should consider.